So, who does this Beowulf guy think that he is? Just comin’ into my place outta nowhere and gettin’ all fresh with my kinsman. Yea, I’m sure he’s probably done some cool stuff, but c’mon! I’ve seen guys with arms twice as big as his come in here and act civil. Big bad Beowulf just struts around this place like he’s the cock of the walk. And, earlier when he said that he didn’t lose the swimming contest with Breca? Lies. Breca told me quite a different story. Apparently, Beowulf can’t even swim! He tied inflated lamb bladders around his arms to stay afloat and he squealed like a piglet when he dipped his toes in. Yea, that guy is all talk. If I wasn’t the gentleman that I am, I prolly woulda roughed him up and put that Beowulf in his place right there in the mead hall. I have a little more respect for our king than that, but I’m watchin’ that clown.
Man, I sure felt like an ass when Beowulf (that son of a Brit) called me out for killing my own brothers. I mean, sure, it goes against warrior code and all that, but seriously. Did he really need to go there when I was with my posse? Shoulda roughed him up again, but I decided to chill for the time being. Besides, we could use some help. This Grendel character is tearin’ stuff up lately. Just last week, he pulled apart five people. Five! They all had armor, weapons, the whole deal and he walked through them like they were prepubescent girls. I woulda killed him myself right then and there, but I strained my knee last week at my line dancing class. I just ran to the back of the hall and waited for the thing to leave. Anyways, Beowulf better get his act together because my knee is feelin’ good now and I would hate to have to beat up our esteemed guest.
Alright, I know what everyone is saying in the mead halls. Apparently, Beowulf killed that Grendel guy after all. Who woulda thunk it? I bet he got lucky. He had to have gotten lucky. There’s no way he just vanquished the villain that had been plaguing us for what seemed like years. Either way, I suppose I can pretend that the glass is half full. At least that monster is gone. I decided that the big oaf might be a little more useful than I originally thought. Since I was a bit of a jerk to him the other day, I’m gonna give him a nice sword to make sure he stays. The place is just safer with him and his homies around. Besides, I messed up my knee again ice skating with my niece last weekend so I wont be able to do all the monster killing and evil slaying I planned on doing. I’m sure the king will be safe without me for a little while.
Man, I sure felt like an ass when Beowulf (that son of a Brit) called me out for killing my own brothers. I mean, sure, it goes against warrior code and all that, but seriously. Did he really need to go there when I was with my posse? Shoulda roughed him up again, but I decided to chill for the time being. Besides, we could use some help. This Grendel character is tearin’ stuff up lately. Just last week, he pulled apart five people. Five! They all had armor, weapons, the whole deal and he walked through them like they were prepubescent girls. I woulda killed him myself right then and there, but I strained my knee last week at my line dancing class. I just ran to the back of the hall and waited for the thing to leave. Anyways, Beowulf better get his act together because my knee is feelin’ good now and I would hate to have to beat up our esteemed guest.
Alright, I know what everyone is saying in the mead halls. Apparently, Beowulf killed that Grendel guy after all. Who woulda thunk it? I bet he got lucky. He had to have gotten lucky. There’s no way he just vanquished the villain that had been plaguing us for what seemed like years. Either way, I suppose I can pretend that the glass is half full. At least that monster is gone. I decided that the big oaf might be a little more useful than I originally thought. Since I was a bit of a jerk to him the other day, I’m gonna give him a nice sword to make sure he stays. The place is just safer with him and his homies around. Besides, I messed up my knee again ice skating with my niece last weekend so I wont be able to do all the monster killing and evil slaying I planned on doing. I’m sure the king will be safe without me for a little while.
No comments:
Post a Comment